


Alexander and Suffering: A Love Story

by KianStrugglesToEven



Series: Kinky Memes [8]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 18:11:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10314071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KianStrugglesToEven/pseuds/KianStrugglesToEven
Summary: Damilton: Hello i'm sufferingSicklyAndPrickly: Hi suffering,Damilton: If that ends like a dad joke im gonna kick you in the noseJeSuisChrist: Nerd.Or: Alexander, its slightly worse than a cold.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Archive messed up the first time i tried to post this so this is a repost!!

Alexander and Suffering

Damilton: Hello i'm suffering  
SicklyAndPrickly: Hi suffering,  
Damilton: If that ends like a dad joke im gonna kick you in the nose  
JeSuisChrist: Nerd.  
NarrativeControl: Ha, i understood that reference  
Damilton: Ayyyyy you've finally watched heathers??  
NarrativeControl: Yea, now why are you suffering  
Damilton: I have a cold  
JeSuisChrist: He says, leaning over the toilet bowl  
Damilton: LaaAAaaF shUtttt uPPppPPpppPp  
Damilton: Im not that bad he's lying  
JeSuisChrist:He just threw up again please dont listen to him  
NarrativeControl: Alexander if your ill you should be resting get off your phone ill bring you some medicine and maybe some soup how about that???  
Damilton: Im not sick tho im fine Lafs lying  
JeSuisChrist: Eliza please come over he is truly suffering  
Damilton: Im not thooooo  
NarrativeControl: Right, thats it, im coming over.  
Damilton: Wtf why do you trust laf over your own brother???  
Pegarita: Because our own brother tends to downplay it when he's ill so he doesnt miss any work?  
Damilton: ShuuUUuuuUUUuuuUuuutttTttt UppppPppppPpPPpPPp  
SicklyAndPrickly: I take it Alexander wont be in class today??  
NarrativeControl: Nope  
Damilton: YES I WILL ITS JUST A C O L D  
MacaroniAndMe: Alexander if you are Ill stay the fuck away from class you might infect Jemmy and he will s u f f e r  
SicklyAndPrickly: That is true i have the immune system of a new born baby please dont infect me  
JeSuisChrist: Alexanders Phone has been snatched from him and i am currently holding him down but he is continuously screeching so if someone could tell GWash he isnt turning up that would be great  
NarrativeControl: also that he is trying to downplay it incase he manages to text him  
SicklyAndPrickly: On it  
\------------------------------  
SicklyAndPrickly: Professor Washington, I have been asked to inform you that Alexander has taken Ill and will be unable to attend class today.  
GWash(ingMachine): Thank you for informing me, James, see you in class.  
SicklyAndPrickly: Oh, and he is also attempting to downplay his illness, incase he texts you.  
GWash(ingMachine): Ah, yes, that sounds like him.  
\-----------------------------  
NarrativeControl: HE HAS GAINED CONTROL OF HIS PHONE SOMEONE STOP HIM  
Damilton: FIGHT ME ALL OF YOU  
\-------------------------------  
GWash(ingMacine): Are you okay????? James said you where sick?  
Damilton: Its seriously just a cold ill be in class  
GWash(ingMachine): Alexander I highly doubt that thats true  
Damilton: S e r i o u s l y  
GWash(ingMachine): Alexander if you show up to class i will just carry you back to your dorm  
GWash(ingMachine): You know i can  
Damilton: Noted.  
\-----------------------  
NarrativeControl: See this is why i trust Lafayette this is clearly much worse than a simple Cold  
Damilton: Free Me  
Angeli-kickyourass: Alexander let Eliza take care of you and then you can go back to classes  
Damilton: Screeeeeeeeeeee  
NarrativeControl: H e a l  
Pegarita: Y'all fight like an old married couple  
Damilton: I want a divorce  
NarrativeControl: SAME  
Damilton: YOU CAN TAKE THE CHINA IM TAKING THE KIDS  
NarrativeControl: ERM NO IM TAKING THE CHILDREN  
Damilton: THEY LIKE ME MORE SHARON  
NarrativeControl: YOU WOULDNT KNOW HOW TO LOOK AFTER THEM PROPERLY  
Damilton: FEED THEM AND EDUCATE THEM HOW HARD IS IT  
NarrativeControl: ITS NOT WHO THEY LIKE MORE ITS WHO CAN CARE FOR THEM  
NarrativeControl: YOU CANT PROVIDE FOR YOURSELF HAROLD  
Damilton: ALWAYS BRINGING UP THE UNEMPLOYMENT SHARON  
Damilton: THIS IS WHY OUR MARRIAGE FAILED  
NarrativeControl: I HAVE TO, ITS THE ONLY WAY YOU'LL LISTEN, AND IT WOULD HAVE WORKED IF YOU TRIED  
Damilton: LOW BLOW SHARON  
NarrativeControl: A LOW BLOW IS ENDING OUR MARRIAGE, HOW DO YOU THINK THIS WILL AFFECT THE CHILDREN  
Damilton: THEY WILL BE PERFECTLY HAPPY WITH MYSELF AND MY GAY LOVER ENRIQUE ON OUR BOAT SHARON  
NarrativeControl: OH SO YOU CHEATED ON ME TOO? GAY LOVER? WELL I HOPE YOUR HAPPY HAROLD IM TAKING THE CHILDREN, ILL TAKE IT TO COURT IF I HAVE TO  
Damilton: THE CHILDREN ARE STAYING WITH ME SHARON AND DONT EVEN BRING UP MY AFFAIR WHEN I KNOW FOR A FACT YOUVE HAD PEOPLE ON THE SIDE  
NarrativeControl: ME? I LOVED YOU HAROLD, THAT WAS ONE TIME, YOU WILL NOT HAVE THE CHILDREN  
Damilton: IF YOU TRULY LOVED ME WE WOULDNT BE IN THIS MESS SHARON AND IF THE KIDS STAYED WITH YOU THEY WOULD PROBABLY GET SHOT DONT DENY IT  
NarrativeControl: THEY WOULDNT BE SHOT WITH ME AT LEAST THEY WOULD GET AN EDUCATION NOT GETTING CAUGHT WITH THE BAD CROWDS ON THESE BOATS  
Damilton: I CAN HOMESCHOOL THEM SHARON THEY WOULD RECIEVE THE FINEST EDUCATION ON THE BOAT AND HOW DARE YOU CALL THE BOAT CROWD A BAD ONE WHEN YOUR SON TRIED TO BLOW UP A SCHOOL, AT LEAST ON A BOAT HE WOULDNT HAVE ACCESS TO E X P L O S I V E S SHARON  
Pegarita: This is wild  
NarrativeControl: WHY DO YOU THINK HE TRIED TO BLOW UP A SCHOOL, HE GOT THOSE PROBLEMS FROM YOU HAROLD, HOW DARE YOU BRING THAT UP, JD APOLOGISED. HE LEARNED HIS LESSON, AND IT WAS YOUR SIDE OF THE FAMILY WHICH GAVE HIM THE TNT  
JeSuisChrist: Thats a heathers reference  
Damilton:MY SIDE OF THE FAMILY DIDNT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE EXPLOSIVES  
Damilton: MY MOTHER WAS RIGHT I SHOULD OF MARRIED A LAWYER WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE  
NarrativeControl: EXCUSE ME? YOUR MOTHER HAD NEVER LIKED ME AND THE ONLY REASON SHE WANTED TO MARRY THE LAWYER IS SO SHE COULD GET CLOSE TO HER MONEY  
Damilton: THIS IS EXACTLY WHY MY MOTHER NEVER LIKED YOU SHARON ALWAYS BLAMING SOMEONE ELSE  
NarrativeControl: RIGHT OKAY, WHATEVER. I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS. YOU CAN TAKE THE KIDS BUT I GET TO SEE THEM AT THE WEEKENDS, AND I'M KEEPING OUR CAT  
Damilton: IF YOUR KEEPING THE CAT IM TAKING THE FISH ASWELL, YOU WOULD LET HIM EAT THEM  
NarrativeControl:FOR YOUR INFORMATION I'M NOT THAT CRUEL, I WOULDN'T LET HIM EAT THE FISH, BUT HE SHOULD HAVE ATTACKED YOU  
Damilton: MR MITTENS WOULD NEVER ATTACK ME AND YOU KNOW IT SHARON  
NarrativeControl: Okay im done he threw up again i gotta sort this boy out  
Pegarita: Godspeed  
\--------------------------  
JeSuisChrist: ALEXANDER ON THE RUN  
NarrativeControl: I WENT TO GET MORE SOUP WHAT THE FUCK  
JeSuisChrist: HE FUCKING BOLTED IM TRYING TO CATCH HIM  
Turtle.Boi: HE JUST SPRINTED PAST ME AND AARON???  
NarrativeControl: caTCH HIM????  
ABurrSir: He is fucking sprinting i have never seen him run so quickly??  
Turtle.Boi: hE HAS DISAPPEARED?  
Angeli-kickyourass: GODDAMIT  
\---------------------------  
LittleRedDress: Welcome to Alexander Watch™ he just ran past myself and Peggys Political Science Class i believe he is trying to get to english  
KinkGeorge: Can Confirm, small brown haired man just sprinted past me in the Math hallway, he only has a floor left y'all  
DangDiggityDosia: Fashion kids with nothing else to do are prepared to intercept // Moving into Fashion GC, will update after mission //  
\------------------------  
*"We dont know how to sew" With 4SetsOfCorsets, DangDiggityDosia & MacaroniSucks*  
DangDiggityDosia: OverLocker is in position, ButtonHole what is your status?  
4SetsOfCorsets: ButtonHole is ready and waiting, Applique do you have eyes on the target?  
MacaroniSucks: Negative, do not have eyes on the target  
MacaroniSucks: APPLIQUE HAS LOCKED ONTO THE TARGET ENGAGE ENGAGE  
\---------------------------  
"Help Us"  
DangDiggityDosia: HERCS GOT HIM Y'ALL HE HAS BEEN SNATCHED  
NarrativeControl: tHANK FUCK  
DangDiggityDosia: They are struggling  
MacaroniAndMe: WE CAN HEAR THEM YELLING GWASH IS COMIN OUT BE WARNED  
DangDiggityDosia: HE JUST WALKED OUT AND HE LOOKS SO DISAPOINTED OML  
NarrativeControl: I AM SPRINTING  
MacaroniAndMe: "Alexander, what did i say would happen if you came to class?"  
DangDiggityDosia: *Alexander scoots backwards*  
DangDiggityDosia: HOLY SHIT HE JUST FCKING LIFTED HIM  
NarrativeControl: WHAT  
MacaroniAndMe: "Alexander is Sick, I am going to assist his friends in getting him home. Continue your work."  
DangDiggityDosia: HE IS JUST CARRYING HIM OML THIS IS BEAUTIFUL?  
NarrativeControl: I just ran into them im gonna walk back with them so i can give him more medicine and stuff  
KinkGeorge: Its a good job we arent in class today, do you want me to come over and help?  
NarrativeControl: Please.  
4SetsOfCorsets: Right, Fashion spys are headed back to base, we have shit to sew  
DangDiggityDosia: Peace!  
MacaroniAndMe: Why do y'all always get let out to pull these stunts??  
4SetsOfCorsets: Our professor is so chill its great  
LittleRedDress: Me and pegs are gonna actually concentrate now, bye y'all  
Angeli-kickyourass: Finally  
\-------------------------  
4SetsOfCorsets: ((At lunch with Theo))  
4SetsOfCorsets: Random Guy : "Hey Baby can i get your number?"  
4SetsOfCorsets: Theo, Visibly texting: "Sorry man i haven't got a phone"  
ABurrSir: Thats my cousin  
Pegarita: they were texting us lmao  
4SetsOfCorsets: Same Guy : "Aww come on babe, ive got something in my pants you might like ;)))"  
4SetsOfCorsets: Theo, looking up from their phone, with a completely blank face : " A vagina?"  
4SetsOfCorsets: Cue the guy sputtering and walking away  
ABurrSir: Yesss Theo  
Pegarita: I have one of those if you wanna hit me up Babs  
DangDiggityDosia: Hell yea where you at  
Pegarita: I'll PM you dw  
LittleRedDress: Ready to buy snacks!  
NarrativeControl: I aspire to be so comfortable with my sex life that i can just plan it in a group chat  
4SetsOfCorsets: I mean,,, im free rn  
NarrativeControl: Im not lmao i am caring for my baby brother  
JeSuisChrist: I have been asked to inform you that Alexander is yelling "that im not a fucking baby Eliza!"  
JeSuisChrist: And George Frederick is here go have sex if you want Eliza he cant escape us  
NarrativeControl: I mean  
NarrativeControl: Herc go to my appartment i need to feed Philip anyway  
KinkGeorge: ayyy its time for Foreign Royalty Parents lessgo  
NarrativeControl: Just keep him in bed and he should fall asleep  
JeSuisChrist: His laptop, phone, and notebooks are all hidden we are good!  
NarrativeControl: Alright, ill be back as soon as i can  
KinkGeorge: Take your time!  
\-------------------------  
Damilton: I HAVE LOCATED MY PHONE  
Turtle.Boi: WHERE ARE LAFAYETTE AND GEORGE FREDERICK  
Damilton: ASLEEP ON MY COUCH HAHA  
Turtle.Boi: WHERE ARE YOU  
ABurrSir: HE LEFT HIS DORM IM TRYING TO FIND HIM BUT HE RAN OFF  
Damilton: Im like, halfway up a tree rn lmao  
Turtle.Boi: HWHAT  
Pegarita: ALEXANDER YOU DONT LIKE HEIGHTS  
Damilton: No i do not and im stuck someone help  
Turtle.Boi: ITS 9PM ALEXANDER WHY  
Damilton: I see the tree, i see a comfy branch, I climb into the comfy branch, it is comfy  
Damilton: But yea im pretty dang stuck lmao  
DangDiggityDosia: this is fucking wild  
LittleRedDress: YEa it is which tree are you in man  
Damilton: Like,, i can see the library  
Damilton: SAMUEL SEABURY JUST CLIMBED INTO THIS TREE  
KinkGeorge: ALEXANDER WHERE THE FUCK  
KinkGeorge: WHY IS SAM IN THE TREE  
JeSuisChrist: I am going to be murdered by Eliza. Peggy gets all my stuff  
Pegarita: Why me  
JeSuisChrist: I feel like you would protect it if people tried to steal it  
Pegarita: I would  
Damilton: Sam is in the tree because his roommate is noisy as shit and he wanted quiet  
Damilton: I am not the first person to notice this comfy branch, It seems  
Turtle.Boi: How tf are we meant to get you down???  
Damilton: I dont know help  
Angeli-kickyourass: I know  
\------------------------------  
Angeli-kickyourass: GO SAVE YOUR FUCKING BOYFRIEND HES IN A TREE BY THE LIBRARY HAVE FUN GOODNIGHT  
GWash(ingMachine): Of course he is, I will go and collect him, thank you Miss Schuyler.  
\----------------------------  
GWash(ingMachine): Where are you???  
Damilton: In a tree, near the library.  
GWash(ingMachine): You cant see me but i just sighed really loudly. I'm on my way, i'm bringing Martha because she's here and is currently dying with laughter.  
Damilton: Yaaay MWash is always fun  
\-----------------------  
NarrativeControl: ALEXANDER SCHUYLER - HAMILTON YOU LITTLE SHIT  
Damilton: GWash is on his way to save me with MWash  
4SetsOfCorsets: Yaaay MWash  
NarrativeControl: THATS NOT GONNA SAVE YOU WHEN I GET AHOLD OF YOU YA LITTLE SHIT  
NarrativeControl: WHAT DO I SAY??? STAY WITH LAF AND HEAL  
NarrativeControl: WHAT DO YOU DO??? GET STUCK UP A TREE WITH SAMUEL SEABURY  
Damilton: Sam says Hey  
NarrativeControl: I CANT BELIEVE YOU RN  
\------------------------  
GWash(ingMachine): Do i need to save Samuel aswell?  
Damilton: Nah he sits up here alot apparently  
GWash(ingMachine): Huh, maybe thats why his descriptive pieces are always about tree's  
Damilton: Maybe  
GWash(ingMachine): You know, i didnt expect to be carrying you home twice in one day  
Damilton: It'd be cuter if my sister wasnt at my dorm waiting to scream at me and if your sister wasnt stood pissing herself laughing over there  
GWash(ingMachine): True.

**Author's Note:**

> Im a sucker for Sick!Alexander f i g h t me  
> As always, I hope you enjoyed, and i thrive on attention, so, i mean, throw me a comment, yeah?  
> Thomas and James werent in this as much as usual huh.


End file.
